Well so much for the power of prayer. Next week we shall try witchcraft! I've just got back from our now weekly humiliation at the now Internationally famous Meakins Cricket Club Quiz. I can confidently make this claim now we have information that this damn blog has been viewed in 18 countries! Note of caution: If you haven't seen the 1976 movie "All The President's Men", then some of this post may not make much sense!( no difference there)
I am feeling under pressure this week from the rest of the quizzers, now that they are reading these reports. On arival, I was immediately descended upon by various Muppets and Sixth Sensers with points to make over the accuracy and fairness of my reports. I informed then firmly that no one should attempt to sensor the power of the press. In the tradition of Woodward and Bernstein, I must report the facts as I see them, and will not be bowed by the pressure of vested interests! The public has a right to know! (Have I gone over the top yet!) Unless of course our team continues to lose, in which case I reserve the right to spin (i.e. lie) the results in our favour. The Watergate theme works pretty well this week as poor Muppet member Anne, this week's Quizmistress, had to suffer her way through a croaky voice, thus becoming our very own "Deep Throat". I did wait fot a Robert Redford lookalike to appear but alas was dissapointed.
The quiz started well for us, for a whole 4 questions, then the rot set in. Our answer sheet started to contain more blank spaces than answers, as we bickered and hesitated our way through the first half. The low point came when we ere asked to name all 9 of Queen Victoria's children. We managed only 1 of them and that was through the tactic of putting down every royal sounding name we could. On reflection I think Brooklyn and Britanny were probably very poor guesses!! We also started to irritate the rest of the room by completely losing our place. Clearly counting 1 to 40 was beyond us this week. This was probably the worst first half performance we had put in. The only question we were confident of was "What is the shape of Mr Rush from the Mr Men books?" We had found our level.
We gained back some favour from the club by providing the food. An eclectic collection of pan European Dishes (Well we had Lasagne) and some Sausage Rolls.
The first half scores were in. Look away if you are easily disturbed, this was not going to be pretty. Sixth Sense - 30 , The Campos - 22 , The Muppets - 21 and Us The Blondes a pitiful -17!
Still we stood a chance in the second half. That chance was, if all the other teams suddenly realised they had collectively left the gas on and rushed home. My half time suggestion of some form laxative poisoning in the food had been vetoed by my teammates, mainly because they too hungry themselves! The second half was an improvement for us, although we still managed to talk ourselves out of right answers! There was one controversial question "What is the unusual thing that an oyster does every year" The answer was "Change Sex" which is obviously not that unusual, being that at least 8 % of our quizzers had done so! Although we improved we did have moments of utter stupidity, managing to answer one question as "George Best", instead of correctly "William Shakespeare" The throwouts were an interesting mix, with some Dingbats, some collective animal names and the duration of number 1 hits to answer.
The final scores were in The Campos - 58, The Blondes - 60, The Muppets - 68 and guess what! Sixth Sense - 89 points. I am really beginning to think they must have sold their souls in some pact with the quiz devil! After the quiz a Muppet delegation challenged my previous reports that they were yet to score, especially as they were a clear second this week. I countered with the pompous opinion that second place is nowhere in the dog eat dog (hotdog would be more apt for us) world of the quiz. Second Placers are the First Losers! Still, we are in no place to crow only avoiding being the Last Losers by 2 points!
To Complete the Watergate theme. i would love to have reported that the Muppets got a well deserved Victory, but in the twisted words of Richard Nixon "There will be no Whitewash in the White Club House"
+What is Paul McCartney's middle name ?
+What is the first Prime number to come after 1000 ?
+What are the Corns in Corned Beef ?
+ A Murmuration is the collective noun for a group of what?
Scores on the Doors
Sixth Sense - 7 wins
3 non Blondes - 3 wins
The Campanologists - 1 win
The Muppets - 10 wins
(one of these scores may be wrong!)