Monday, 25 February 2008

Whats in a name ?

As you may have noticed, my blog has changed title. (The website address is still the same) This may yet be temporary. I am not very good at titles. Jenny vs The World had begun to feel corny and didnt reflect the feel of what I had written. I really dont want to convey the thought that in some way the world is wrong and needs to bend to my will Though that may not be a bad idea!) The point of the title was that for much of my life I didn't feel like I quite fitted in with the scheme of things.

Crossing The Floor just came to me while watching BBC Parliament ( I really am that dull!). It occurred to me as an apt title for a couple of reasons. The term is a political one which is used when an MP changes political party or sides of the house. The relationship to my gender is fairly obvious so I guess it isn't the most subtle of metaphores. After my last post it could also refer to that first scarey walk across the floor of Tesco's supermarket.

The concen I imagine for an MP crossing the floor is not just the wider acceptance of the whole electorate but the particular acceptance of their chosen new party. Could a Tory for instance ever really be accepted by the rank and file Labour Party, or will they just be seen as a political cross dresser donning the clothes of a Labour MP for political expediency. Even if I gain a wider acceptance, will that be as a Transperson donning female clothes to fill something missing in their life. When, what I realy crave is a deep down acceptance as a woman. For me the constituency I really need approval from are my fellow women themselves. With my closest friends, I think I do have that, but I do realise that I will never be able to relate to their experience growing up as a girls. I of course wil never mensturate, be pregnant or experience the slow journey to womanhod. The route to my real gender is littered with trial & error, highs & lows strides forward and jerks backward. With better planning I would have had time to stop and enjoy the view, instead of just seeing the obstacles in the way.

I have now "Crossed the Floor". I prefer the view from this side


brad said...

I was thinking of asking you about the (old) title and whether you still thought it applied. You seemed to have more peace in the present than the title implied.

You're right, I miss some of the British references, but I try. I have shopped at a Tescos or two, though not in the middle of the night.

Jenny Harvey said...

Yes I suppose I am at peace. My problem was always with myself anyway rather than society

To be honest, so many of my references are for fairly obscure Tv so most of my friends dont get them

brad said...

"Crossing the Floor" is apt.