As you may have noticed, my blog has changed title. (The website address is still the same) This may yet be temporary. I am not very good at titles. Jenny vs The World had begun to feel corny and didnt reflect the feel of what I had written. I really dont want to convey the thought that in some way the world is wrong and needs to bend to my will Though that may not be a bad idea!) The point of the title was that for much of my life I didn't feel like I quite fitted in with the scheme of things.
Crossing The Floor just came to me while watching BBC Parliament ( I really am that dull!). It occurred to me as an apt title for a couple of reasons. The term is a political one which is used when an MP changes political party or sides of the house. The relationship to my gender is fairly obvious so I guess it isn't the most subtle of metaphores. After my last post it could also refer to that first scarey walk across the floor of Tesco's supermarket.
The concen I imagine for an MP crossing the floor is not just the wider acceptance of the whole electorate but the particular acceptance of their chosen new party. Could a Tory for instance ever really be accepted by the rank and file Labour Party, or will they just be seen as a political cross dresser donning the clothes of a Labour MP for political expediency. Even if I gain a wider acceptance, will that be as a Transperson donning female clothes to fill something missing in their life. When, what I realy crave is a deep down acceptance as a woman. For me the constituency I really need approval from are my fellow women themselves. With my closest friends, I think I do have that, but I do realise that I will never be able to relate to their experience growing up as a girls. I of course wil never mensturate, be pregnant or experience the slow journey to womanhod. The route to my real gender is littered with trial & error, highs & lows strides forward and jerks backward. With better planning I would have had time to stop and enjoy the view, instead of just seeing the obstacles in the way.
I have now "Crossed the Floor". I prefer the view from this side