Happenstancing

This week has been noticeable for 2 coincidences.

First up was Wednesday afternoon. I received a text from Caz saying that the divorce papers were ready to be signed. A bitter sweet piece of news. It would be good to finally get it sorted as its been hanging around for nearly a year, but it triggered off the old feelings of sadness and regret. While musing over my impending divorcee status I had a call from Vicky. The Meakins Cricket Club quiz was off tonight due to some illness or something to this weeks setter. Vicky then came up with an alternative, "Should we go to the Master Potter quiz instead". I was unsure, due to lethargy and my divorce influenced mood. However the more I thought about it, the more it felt just right. We haven't been to the Potter quiz for 13 years or so, and the suggestion had been out of the blue. The point being was that this was the place and time that I was first connected with Caz. All those years ago Vicky had set me up with Caz, after they had both been to the quiz, and she thought we would get on well, which we obviously did. So through the Potter quiz I met my future wife and on the same day as my return to the scene my divorce finally felt complete. If you like I will call it The Circle Of Wife.

I have never really talked much about my married years on her. All I can say is that they were some of the happiest days of my life (the weeks were miserable though. Boom boom). These were times I felt like I had a purpose, a place in the scheme of things. I never relished being a man, but I loved being a married man, if that makes sense. Although I now realise that I would feel more complete in a relationship with the right man, I cherished the companionship I had with Caz. I was completely signed up to my vows with her and the responsibilities that went along with them. It is these aspects that made me so melancholic  last Wednesday afternoon, at the thought of my impending decree absolute. 

If it wasn't for this quiz then my life would have taken who knows what path? It set of chain of my last decade or so that has ended up here, perched on my bed, blogging about being Jen. Difficult as it is to admit, if I hadn't met and married Caz I would probably not now be living as Jen. It was only when the marriage was disintegrating that I started to find solace in my inner woman. It was her that outed me to my parents by accident, where I may never have found the courage. It was Caz that gave me the confidence to step out in the daylight and accompanied me on my first tentative steps, when I was scared beyond belief. Without her I am fairly sure that I would have kept my real persona buried deep. I am and always will be grateful to her.

Now for the other second chance event. On Thurs we had a meeting at Port Vale FC with one of our local MPs, Joan Walley. Joan is a solid Labour MP and a good supporter of the Trades Unions. She arranged this meeting of local Trade Unionists so she could listen to our various concerns. Apart from Joan and her aide there were ten of us seated in a circle as if in some Socialists Anonymous support group. Apart from the branch sec of the Stoke Unison branch I didn't know anyone else, or so I thought. One man seated 2 down from us announced himself as from a teaching union. The name rang a school bell. The face then seemed familiar. I dawned on me that this was my uncle who I hadn't seen for probably 15 or 20 years. For the rest of my meeting I kept glancing at him for signs that he knew who I was, but got no clues. The meeting over I had to say something to him. I wish there was some appropriate etiquette for introducing yourself to a long lost relative who has not met you since you changed gender. All I could think to say was "Good to meet you again, I guess I've changed a bit since last time". My opening was met with blank bemusement. I followed up by asking after my auntie by her first name. If ever the phrase "The Penny Dropped" needs demonstrating, then this was perfect example. We exchanged a few minutes worth of awkward pleasantries before making our separate ways. My abiding memory of my uncle is, once round at their house, he gave my dad a bottle of CND wine which subsequently and with great irony exploded.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action" - Auric Goldfinger. I had better watch out. I prefer "Once, Twice, Three times a lady"

My Top five family based Coincidences

5 Titling my blog Crossing the Floor without recalling that my Dad's cousin was deputy speaker of the House of Commons

4 My childhood best friend Andrew turning out to be my 2nd cousin once removed

3 Learning recently that one of my cousins is also transgendered.

2 Every single sitcom containing the word family turning out to be rubbish

1 "Luke, I am your father"