CHESHIRE ChAT

Nearly everyone from Cheshire is transgendered! Well not quite.

Last night I ventured back into the dark mysteries of the Uk Angels chat room. Out of 8 people I chatted to 6 were from Cheshire. I have nothing against Cheshire, however Stokies always feel like the poor neighbours. Cheshire apparently has more millionaires than any other county. In Stoke we have the pots, they have the pots of money!
Anyway this Cheshire dominance of the chatroom freaked my brain a bit, so it was time for some half assed statistics!

By my reckoning (google) the population of Cheshire in 2003 was 678,700 out of a UK population of 60,000,000
Therefore the percentage of the UK population that live in Cheshire is 1.13 % give or take.
With normal distribution 1 in every 88 trans peeps should be from Cheshire.
If 6 out of 9 chatroomers (including me) were cheshirians, then if there were 88 chatters in the room, with the same ratio, 58 would be cheshirites. Therefore with my rapidly deteriorating mathematical logic. If you live in Cheshire you are nearly 60 times more likely to be Transgendered!
A conservative estimate is that 1 in every 100 men identifies in some way as transgendered.
So there are now approximately 200,000 transgendered people in Cheshire.

Guess its time I moved slightly North Westish, and I do like their cheese

Cheshire Cats - Happy to be Tranny

How Brains Read (or don't)

I raed smoeehwre taht as lnog as the frist and lsat ltetres of a wrod are in the cerorct pcalce tehn eevn if the ohter ltetres are meixd up tehn the wrod can be firaly esaliy cepormhedned.
Taht is of cursoe denpeadnt uopn my seliplng bneig bteetr tahn uasul.

Mnid you eevn if it is rabedale my Bolg dosne't alawys mkae any snsee.

If you hvae mdae it so far tehn I can raevel the fwololing facts.
+ Kedneny was kelild by aelnis foltiang aobve the gasrsy kolnl.
+ Lsot on TV mekas asolbuolety no snese.
+ Eums can be delday kelilrs
+ Svae the Trdae Uinoinst, svae the wrlod.

A Penny for Your Thoughts

I was listening to some Beatles music on my PC this afternoon. It got me thinking about my doomed attempt at academia while at Liverpool Polytechnic. I may not have left with much in the way of qualifications but I did leave with a little piece of the city in my heart.For the first year I lived in Student Halls just off the end of the famous Penny Lane. From my memories I thought I'd have a stab at a version from a late '80s confused, transgendered student's point of view.

Penny Lane Memories...

On Penny Lane, there was a student in a drunken haze.
He nicked a traffic cone, and kept it in his room
and he stayed in bed till almost noon
So he missed his class, lazy ass

Off Penny Lane there was a T-girl, in her favourite clothes
Was after dark 'cos she was scared of getting Read
and she hid her stash beneath her bed
So her wife don't find, 'cos she would mind

Penny Lane was in my ears and in my eyes
Now, beneath my blue suburban skies
I sit and recall back

Off Penny Lane there was a conman fleecing gullibles
He told them John and Paul once lived above his shop,
and he sold them stuff to rip them off
Got some extra pay, the eighties way

On Penny Lane there was a Jenny feeling insecure
She tried so hard to make some sense of all her pain
as she stood under the pouring rain
Made her feel more real, but didn't heal

Penny Lane is in my heart and in my mind
Now under my dark'ning evening skies
I wish I was back then .....

Blokey Post Alert

Its an Outrage



News has reached us at Blog Central (well my brother has just text me) that the mighty Potters, Stoke City FC were robed of a crucial 3 points in their heroic assault on Premiership Promotion! Their opponents on Saturday, Sheffield Wednesday "The Owls" fielded 6 on loan players, when 5 is the maximum allowed! We ended up with a 1 - 1 draw, with one of their possibly illegal players scoring. We need direct action now. I urge all readers to do at least one of the following:
+ Take to the Streets, sing "Delilah" and wave your Oatcakes
+ Lobby your MPs for immediate Northern Rock Building Society style Intervention, which could include a £10 billion cash injection and Nationalisation for Stoke City FC
+ Expel Sheffield from the Commonwealth and boycott any Stainless Steel products
+ Scrap Wednesdays, with the added advantage of a new 4 day working week
+ Taunt a Tawny
or just
+ Shrug and Sigh. Apathy Rules (if we could be bothered)



Temporary Fault
Crossing the floor © apologise for the temporary Blokey Nature of this Post. Normal service will be returned to as soon as possible
.
In the meantime here is an emergency wedding dress picture





Please note: No Tawny Owls were distressed in the writing of this post

Evolution

Circle Of Life
Unhappy ► Chocolate ► Happy ► Fat ► Diet ► Unhappy


Gender Modernisation

Bank Holiday - killing time

This has been a weird and cold cold Easter
I have spent most of it so far finding ways to avoid tidying the house. This morning I found another way. I decided to do a Word Cloud.


click to see full size
I think as a time wasting excersise this is a runaway success.
Now, what else can I do on a cold afternoon justifies not cleaning?

Its PC Gone Mad

I must reassure you that this title doesn't mean I haven't turned into a Daily Mail quoting reactionary

I may be a paranoid neurotic (No may about it!) but I think our PCs at work are starting to get self aware. Now I'm not saying it is going to develop into a Terminator Skynet style situation but they do have the power to drive me to consider retributive action. (which will probably be this sarcastic post..the weapon of choice for a Blogger).

Not satisfied with :

+ Screwing up my working day by refusing to boot up when I am in a panic (on average every other day!)

+ Rearranging all my files and burying the most important ones beyond reach

+ Clearly making my spelling and grammar look atrocious

+ refusing to print documents when requested and saving them all up to splurge out at the precisely calculated most inconvenient moment.

+ Altering all pictures of myself to make me look fat and slightly cross eyed

It is now messing with my head by blurring the Internet with reality. Witness the picture above, in which to get a refund on train tickets we were urged to stick them on the monitor. (please note its not my hand!)

I hope this post has reached you in its original, witty, insightful form. If not, this is down to the PC conspiracy and I need you to take all to take up hammers, or a good high heeled shoe and smash the system.

small print : Crossing The Floor © take no responsibility for any PC or high heel shoe damaged as a result of reading this post

leggo girls - Guess who?

Thanks to Brad for the link

http://www.reasonablyclever.com/mini/flash/minifig.swf Me and Vix are imortalised as Leggo Girls. Leave it up to you which is which