2009 has got off to a poor start.
I awoke to a knocking at the door. Now as a rule I avoid answering the door if I'm not expecting anyone. From experience it will be
A. Could be a debt collector trying to squeeze money from an age old marital debt.
B. A purveyor of windows/gas/electric/Tupperware.
C. Pedlar of some sort of religious dogma
D. Neo-fascist BNP councillor masquerading as respectable local politician.
and it is unlikely to be
E. a Pools/Lottery/win
F. Free cake
G. Hugh Jackman
H. Hugh Jackman with free cake
Anyway I figure on balance there is usually nothing to be gained from unsolicited knockers. This time however the knock had a particular persistency, so against my better judgement and wrapping myself tightly in my dressing gown, I opened the door a cracks worth and peeked out. It was a couple of neighbours with the news that persons unknown had smashed my car's rear window. Joy of joys, what a start to '09. The perpetuators did not appear to have stolen anything from inside, although I can't imagine they would have been interested in Unison literature or my dodgy taste in CDs. As my neighbours peered in I remarked "look they have made a mess and there have left empty take away cartons and Pepsi Max cans in the footwell. I'm not sure they were fooled as my car usually appears like a skip on wheels.
Through a combination of the internet, frustrated phone calls and stifled shouting, I managed to secure a spot at the local Autoglass who would be able to fit a new window by Saturday afternoon. They said if I dropped my car off they would lock it up till then. I set about covering the gaping hole for the trip to the garage. I managed to use about a dozen bin liners and a roll of neighbour donated gaffer tape and by the end it looked ok for the journey. This lasted exactly 250 yards before the whole mess was flapping away like a huge torn mainsail. I made the rest of the way at a crawling 20 mph for fear of blinding any motorists with a mix of black plastic, shattered window and Unison application forms. I got some puzzled looks from the windscreen man, as through my usual inability to sort these things out, my car insurance is still in my old male name (yes I know I am hopeless!!), so I found myself making the Trans explanation that I haven't had to do for 3 years.
So 2009 has not got off to a good start
Crime is up
Temperature is down.
Waistline is expanding due to comfort eating
Car is significantly more airy.
Main household expenditure is now bin bags, glass and comfort cake
Still, on the plus side:
Car air conditioning now unnecessary.
Now have parking space in front of house.
Oh, and Stoke City are unbeaten this year (valid until Sat 3rd January)
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6 comments:
How strange...
Bob used to be fastidious about keeping the inside of the car litter free, but since 'the change' frankly, er, I don't give a damm and its morphed into a female skip on wheels. The front footwells not too bad - it in my line of vision so pricks the conscience. The rear footwells bear the scars though... :)
Perhaps this could be an additional assessment criteria for the psychs when assessing trans patients, sort of an extra criteria in ICD10 - has your car interior cleanliness decreased (or for our F2M brothers, have the started becoming obsessive)...
well it can't be any dafter than some of the questions I was asked at my first Ch X assesment.
Such as "Would any of my friends lend me £10", "How much debt did I owe" and "Where did you get that fabulous handbag" **
I had so hoped the hormones would have made me more domesticated. How disappointed I have been !
** this may not be true
I'm not impressed with 2009 so far. I've been in bed with 'flu for days, and before that I took my car in to have a bulb changed and ended up with a new clutch and flywheel (and with a much depleted bank account). Actually, the car was in 2008, so I'll give '09 one more chance...
What a great way to distribute UNISON application forms. Cast them like confetti across motorways, b-roads and all carriageways. If they do happen to cause an accident we can turn a blind eye to the 30-day rule, sign them up on the spot, and offer them access to Thompsons RTA service!
I long for those halcyon days of 2008. Those balmy summer days where the country was prosperous and cars actually worked.
Oh for the days you could walk down a high street without every other shop being borded up. I am in constant fear that Evans could fold and I would have nowhere to buy size 10 heels
Must admit most of my '09 has been cough ridden too so I can sympathise with you Pen.
Great idea Ian. Lets face it with much of the private sector being nationalised we can start organising on the streets. Unison could soon have a Banking service group.
Also as Unison has a tie in with Britannia Rescue we could also geenerate some buisness for them
So much for my punctuality...
though I swear I was here and left a comment when this first went up! I am glad your insurance covered it, because mine sent me an exclusion for glass last year "unless damaged in a collision". (Guess I'm supposed to claim against my homeowner's if it's parked and have them raise my rates instead!)
Those cake calories will melt away in a few laps around the pool; we all need some comfort every now and then!
alan
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