Spiced Ham

The following email found its way past my firewall, anti spam filter and junk mail box. . Of course my junk mail box contains dozens of such emails, but the persistence of this one worming its way through makes it worthy of attention, so I figured it ought to give it the courteousy  of a reply, and who couldn't do with another million dollars.

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Attn My Dear‏

From:
Peter Mike (PeterMike@yahoo.com)

You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe

Sent:
14 February 2009 02:52:15

To:
jenny.2000@hotmail.co.uk

Attn My Dear
We have arranged your payment of ($1.5Million) One Million five hundred thousand united state dollars Previously in ATM payment card to be sent to you through western union money transfer payment: Your payment will sent to you by western union The amount you will receive per day is $5000 The minister trust funds and IMF boards of Benin Republic will send you the current standard track details you will need to pick up your ($5000) payment by western union you will receive every day till you receive the $1.5Million united state dollars now no need to send you this ATM card because you can not be able to withdraw the ATM card due to the atm master card contain large money on it The director administrtor trust funds has already signed your payment now you are free to comply with wemaco payment office on this email (western_union004@hotmail.fr) however kindly contact the below person who is in position to release your payment by western union per $5000 a day TONY NNAMDI western !
union department Telphone (+229 9842 8092) E-mai (western_union004@hotmail.fr) The financial western union payment center has been mandated to issue out your payment and you have to stop any further communication with any other person (s) or office (s) to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment. Note that the administrator payment need this details from you to process your payment and the only money you will pay is the processing and administration fee which is only $135 usd before you will start receiving your fund. Receiver
name---------------
Country---------------------
City------------------------
Tel-------------------------
Test question---------------
Answer----------------------
Comply now because as soon as you send this required details to MR TONY NNAMDI he will start sending your payment by western
union.
Regards Senator
Peter Mike

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From:
Jenny Harvey(jenny.2000@hotmail.co.uk)

Sent:
14 February 2009 02:52:15

To:

Peter Mike (PeterMike@conartist.com)

Dear Senator Mike or is it Senator Peter

Thank you so much for the arrangement to pay me (£1.5Million) One Million five hundred thousand united state dollars. The money is very timely as I have a car to MOT, so this might just cover the bill (unless my wheels need tracking).

I am a long standing supporter of Benin Republic and all thing Beninian. Unlike Nigeria, from where I constantly receive pointless, irritating, inbox filling, scamming spam emails, all offering me huge sums of money. Would you please pass on my gratitude to Mr NNAMADI, and could you ask him if he is the same Mr NNamadi that I met over drinks at a New Year's Benin consulate do. I remember we shared a ripe joke at the expense of the Togo ambassador, and ask him what he thought about the quality of the vol-au-vents, which I felt well below par.

The arrangements for you to receive my $135 usd administration fee are as follows. There will be an administration/handling/conning fee of $235 usd to be paid before you receive your fee. The fee will need to be paid in Altarian Dollars or Triganic Pu (bearing in mind the size of the envelope needed).  Could you please contact my administrator by email(jerry.harvey@madeup.co.uk) or Telphone (+5318008 or +5407708) I suggest these phone numbers are best entered on an upside down calculator.

I note that you intend to send me £5000 per day. On that basis it will take 300 days for me to receive the full amount. We will also have take weekends into consideration because our local Western Union does not open on a Sunday and Saturday mornings are taken up with composing facetious blog posts. This would increase the payment period to 386 days. We also have 8 bank holidays and at least 10 days per year when its just too darn snowy, so lets call the whole thing 400 days. I believe that this is an unreasonably protracted period in which to settle this account, so I request that you contact me at your earliest convenience to arrange a more appropriate payment plan. I would be grateful if you could fill in the income/expenditure attachment so we can asses your ability to pay.

Comply now because as soon as you provide the required details, I will straight away shred them and give to my friends daughter to be used as Rabbit hutch flooring.

Regards Senatess

Harvey Jenny

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I have also replied to a number of other emails and am looking forward to receiving my penis extension, blue pills, and a total of 4.5 trillion dollars. I have also managed to reactivate my accounts with all of the major banks and building societies .

 

Addendum.... I have just had a thought. Wasn't Mike Peters the lead singer of U2 lite , Welsh 80's band The Alarm