I've had a flattering but scary offer from the local rag, the Evening Sentinel, to have a feature on me in their woman's pages the wittily titled Sentinelle.
Against all my natural inclinations to decline such an offer I have accepted, and tomorrow afternoon I am going to meet with a feature writer called Alan and an as yet unnamed photographer I just hope it turns out to be (insert famous photographer that is not dead).
There are 3 things that are filling me with dread.
Firstly, I am really keen for this to be a positive article and not one of the usual victimised stories of a man trapped in a woman's body. It's a difficult balance to convey the fact that there are so many positives to being Transgendered and to Transitioning while stressing that this is an important issues worthy of NHS funding etcetera. I always worry that If I don't say I was suicidal at having to live as a man, then it is countered with the opinion that spending scarce NHS resources is not necessary. I can only tell my story, and as I've said before that if I couldn't have transitioned, then I would have survived as a man, albeit I would have been a much less rounded and settled human being (and probably a bit smellier!!). The point is, that I don't have to survive anymore, and now I can live. So I am trying to gather my thoughts about what I want to say, and I only hope I just don't end up gabbling and waffling incoherent psychobabble!!
Secondly, duh duh durrrrrh the photograph. Well I am terrified about this as I am about as photogenic as a very ugly thing, standing on landfill... in a bad hat. Of course, my biggest worry is my now oft posted about, wonky right eye. Anytime I look directly at a camera, my right eye decides to wander off towards my nose with utter disinterest in the camera. Hence my failed attempts yesterday, to hurriedly get an optician to fix the problem. So, I am now reliant on some creative genius from the photographer, or at least some expensive photoshoppery.
Thirdly, my outfit. If I am to be plastered across the centre pages of a middling local newspaper then my outfit has to be just right. I'm looking for something that portrays a professional image, with cheeky undertones. Something that is bang up with fashion but is timelessly classic. I want to look mature but youthful; playful but stable; sensual and sensitive; with just a hint of drop dead sexy..... think a black jumper and black trousers will do!!
Fourthly, and most of all, I am really going to have to bite the bullet and pluck my eyebrows.
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5 comments:
People can live as a man rather than transition, people can live with dialysis rather than a transplant. It's all about quality of life which is harder to put a price on. Yes one SRS operation can put a dent in a Primary Care Trust's budget, but it's just as important as all the hip replacements and bypasses and other things that make life better for people.
I know what you're going through having been in a similar place (but with the slight benefit of being able to use my own pre-vetted photos!). But with your communication skills I don't think you'll have any trouble.
Cheers Bex. My Charing X shrink made the point that after SRS people on average earn more therfore pay more taxes and any costs are paid back.
Comunication skills on a laptop with the aid of a therasaurus and many rewrites and a different kettle of mackerel to a bumbling interviewee, but thanks for the confidence boost
Your avatar photo, the one on the right in the stripes, the one on the upper right all attest to the fact that it's very possible to take attractive photos of you! Ask for the right to approve the photo and things will most likely be fine...or submit one of those! No landfill comparisons are in order here! Ever!
You have written very eloquently here and I have no doubt that as long as they are trying to portray the same thing you are, there will be no problems! If they aren't you will figure it out quickly enough...
My favorite Red Sox fan is right when she speaks of your bravery and strength, you are far too modest!
There are many different kinds of courage in this world, please don't downplay your own!
alan
Good luck!
And make them promise not to have an unflattering headline.
If you have to ask for a photo where you aren't looking directly into the camera. That way no-one will notice the gammy eye. Maybe one of you actaully being interviewed as if the interview is sitting just to the side of the photographer.
As for the potential rambling, just remember to slow down and take a deap breath befoer answering anything. Ensure you think "What would Jenny from the Blog say" WWJFTBS!!!
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