Something Snapped

Actually 2 things snapped today, but I needed a better (snappier, if you like) title.

The first thing that went ping was my tenuous grip on my status within the workplace. Stick with me because its all a bit complicated and in no small measure   quite dull. Now our staff side, Trade Union arrangements are a little unusual. My Union branch covers 3 NHS trusts and I work for one of them. I am full time released, and my employer pays my salary to do Union work. We have an agreement that means I also represent the staff in the other 2 trusts. As a quid pro quo arrangement other reps from other unions who work for these other trusts are allowed to represent within my employer...Still with me ?... Anyway costs aside this arrangement has always worked well. Now since my employer engaged a consultant to look into HR matters, there is now a proposal to end this agreement. This means that I personally would not be able to represent my members from the other 2 Trusts and there are about 1200 of them. Now this has caused me a huge headache, because within these other 2 Trusts we have only a handful of reps whereas within my employer we have a good number of experienced reps.....I know this is hard work, but think of me writing this dirge....So, I have had to consider moving my employment to one of the other NHS Trusts.

So I come to today. Well, it was Open Trust Board Meeting today, which as it suggests is the premier meeting with all the Trust's directors, open to the public and as the Staff side lead, I have a seat at this meeting. So when the meeting was over and the public (well 2 people) had left, I asked rather pompously if I could address the board. This is where my grip on appropriate behaviour finally gave out. I then launched into a grandiose diatribe as to how I was being forced to consider leaving my employer of 20 years. This was complete with a quivering lip as I espoused how I love the Trust in which I had been able to complete my transition, and how I worried for the future of it's industrial relations. To some mildly stunned faces I then turned on my heels and exited stage left. Looking back now I have no real idea why I behaved like such self indulgent melodramatic diva. Its little wonder I didn't start with "I have a dream" and end with "All we have to fear is fear itself". For the love of all things holy, this is after all just a middle size NHS Trust and I'm just an over size Trade Unionist. Anyway sitting here tapping away I now feel such complete twit. Still done is done.

The second snap was an altogether more practical matter. To try and get some perspective back and to have a go at shifting a couple more ounces I went swimming. By now I am pretty relaxed about this swimming lark and by and large I think I have passed ok with little fuss. This evening the pool was very full, but I found a narrow clear patch in which to plough up and down. As I splashed away I noticed that I was getting a few strange looks, but  soon dismissed it as my neuroses. The next thing I noticed was that the left strap on my costume kept sliding off my shoulder, but again dismissed it from my mind. Good Grief sometimes I am slow on the uptake. What had happened was that the strap on my costume has snapped at the back and was flapping about and thereby exposing more that any girl wants to in a public pool! I guess the constant struggle my costume has with the laws of physics exerted by my body, finally took its toll and the inevitable happened. The sudden realisation stopped me in my tracks (or wake more like). I held station treading water, clasping my cossie across my left breast, looking across the crowded pool thinking how on earth could I make my way out with a shred respectability left intact. I considered just treading water for the next 2 hours until everyone had left. However I found a solution. I managed to tie the loose strap round the back of my neck to the last remaining fully functioning strap. This left my costume in a sort of half Halter neck asymmetrical design. Its sounds odd, but it worked. In fact it worked so well that not only did it cover what needed covering but I was a actually able to resume swimming for a bit. I am now left with the dilemma. Do I attempts my usual ham fisted sewing and reattach the strap or do I cut the other strap and then tie around the back of my neck in full Halter glory.