Genderally Speaking

Well after my cock up at missing my appointment at Charing Cross Gender Clinic (insert your own cock up/gender clinic pun), I did manage to make one gender related appointment. This was the long awaited follow up with my Speech Therapist. I say long awaited because it had been afull 4 months since my last sesh.

I am acutely aware that my voice does not aid in my acceptance as a born anew woman. As an understatement that rank alongside saying that my size does not help me run a marathon ! My vocal failings were  brought into sharp focus when a short interview video was posted on a local paper’s website. I cringed at every flat dull syllable.

One of the added stresses is that speech is so vital in my job. Ranging from a compassionate sotto voce when empathising in a one on one with a distressed Union member,  to needing clarity and enunciation to convey detail over the phone, through assertive emphasising in negotiation meetings and upward to passionate oration at a conference before maybe thousands. Eeeeessshhhkk  ! when I think about it my head spins. I’m not convinced I make much of a fist in any of these categories at conveying a female voice. Hence Speech Therapy sessions, which thankfully my PCT NHS Primary Care Trust) fund, whereas some will not.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my sessions to date. If nothing it is a fascinating intellectual exercise. The differences between a male and female voice are not instantly obvious. It’s a self evident truth of course, that women generally speak at a higher pitch but that’s only part of it. There is the undulation, intonation, soft onset and more that make up women’s speech. After a casual introductory chat, where I know my Therapist is assessing my voice quality, we then went into a few exercises hhmmaaarrr, hhmmeeeee, hhmmmooooaaaa all with lips a tingling, trying to place my voice in the front of my head and not my chest. All seemed to go pretty well, and I was able to keep the practice going , until my first meeting. I have this terrible learnt behaviour, in that when I need to be taken seriously I subconsciously lower and flatten my voice like some pompous preacher. My verdict C- must try harder.

“By George she’s not got it”…yet