Mia Culpa (Mya Cockup)

Hi, I’m Jenny. I’m a blogaholic. I’s been 2 weeks since my last post….So I need to pull my typing finger out (its this one!).

Truth is, that I’ve had my annual bout of self obsessed anxiety, that left my mood as low as Trevor Chapel grubber. I blame Nick Griffin, if only because I choose to blame the deluded, fascist, shit in a suit, BNP leader for all life’s ills, now that the bankers have dropped off the radar. Actually he does have a bearing on my recent lost fortnight. Tomorrow I’m off down to Brighton for Unison’s (and my) highlight of the week, our National Delegates Conference. For the first time our branch had a motion on the agenda, motion 90 : Stop The BNP. I was looking forward to moving a motion that I’m so passionate about, and to be able move it from the perspective of BNP infested Stoke-on-Trent.

That was until I called the Conference office to routinely enquire when the delegates credentials were being sent out. I was met with a heart gulping response. “We don’t have anyone registered for your branch”

I felt completely flattened. How could this have happened. I was as sure as sure can be that I had posted the forms, but they clearly hadn’t arrived where they should of. Had I become convinced by some sort of false memory ? Who knows what, I still don’t, even after a week of brain racking. I just know that all evidence shows that i can’t have done a task that I was utterly convinced that I had. The upshot is that our branch will not have any delegates at this year’s conference, and only allowed to have visitors in attendance. I was gutted, but more than that I felt I had let the branch down badly. I am ultimately responsible for 2,500 members being denied a democratic vote. My mood tumbled, as my sense of shame shot up. I found myself unable to blog, unable to tweet and unable to function with any purpose. My head was a maelstrom of negative thoughts, building upon each other in waves and leaving any sense of perspective trailing in its wake. 

Its been a week, not to forget, but to learn from. Eventually the patience, kindness and common sense of my friends and colleagues did drag me out of this pathetic self induced and yes, just darn selfish stupor. So here I am on the eve of our conference still looking forward to a week in which, although I shall be attending as a visitor, I aim to play as fulsome a part as possible in the proceedings.

Its now 11pm and by now I should have packed for our pilgrimage South, but I’m just too darn tired to move from this laptop. This is because I’ve just got back from a scorching day at RAF Cosford Air Show. Now I know I should instinctively  disapprove of this glorification of machinery of death, being at heart a lefty, peace loving hippy, but I do love a big roaring plane. Vicky had sprung the suggestion of the air show just yesterday, and it certainly beat our planned Car Boot sale, as fun day.

So tomorrow night, once I’m ensconced in my hotel room I shall inflict yet more air show based hi jinx on you all, and of course complete with pictures of huge earthshaking hot jets, darting spinning swooping aerobatics..oh and a couple of blokes having a kip.