In S**t Shape for Bristol Fashion

My LGBT Conference diary

I've arrived via a soggy Stoke Station in Bristol ahead of Unison's LGBT conference starting tomorrow. My hotel is very new, and titled the "Ibis Waterside", although it is more like "Ibis  Multi Storey Carparkside". Curiously there is a giant boule just outside the hotel, although as there are no other boules around it must have been a very poor throw.All said the hotel is very nice but just a touch nouveaux for a Northern lass like myself.

My hotel betwee 2 cranes (not picured, any water!)

My room is like a cabin on the USS Enterprise NCC-10701-D (certainly not the NCC-1071-A of the woeful The Final Frontier! *geek alert*). It is a triangular shape with a a curved podule at one apex containing the shower room. Disappointingly the curved door to said room failed to open automatically with a shhhhhhhtt.

I've not really explored outside much mainly due to the miserable drenched and dank weather. I have made a quick sortie to the Marx & Sparks for some supplies(wouldn't a Marxist and Spencer shop be fab. The clothes may be drab but I'm sure the prices would be resanable). I am going to have a diet battle for the next few days, so I stocked up on salad and pineapple. I also bought some tights. Since a drab Summer turned to a cold Autumn, I have been on a Holy Grail quest for a well fitting pair of tights. I seem to be a shape that is almost completely incompatible with hosiery of any kind. Either they are too tight on the top of my thunderthighs that they tear, too short to the gusset to sit on my waist or just too short in the legs ending with a gusset around my mid thigh and leaving me with an ungainly waddle. So I am test driving a pair of Barely Black M&S (S&M tights are another matter altogether) firm support tights.

I hope later on to meet up with an internet pal Lucy, who is on down for the conference (or is it up, I'm never quite sure) so I going to see if I can cobble together a decent outfit from the unnecessarily large pile of clothes I stuffed into my case. I've just been distracted by my old Physics teacher. No, hes not in my room, that would be plain weird , but he is on the telly. His name is David Edwards and is famous for wining both Mastermind and £million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and even more impressively he was on a pub quiz team that beat mine a few years ago at the Master Potter pub in Cheadle. He is appearing on Eggheads but sadly not winning, perhaps competing against me finally wore out his brain.

.....more tomorrow